Hi, I have no life. ok I'm alive but need to know how to cope with a 94 yr old grandmother who probably has alz, from age, and is very stubborn, determined, and capable of walking, getting out of bed, doing all sorts of stuff, but if she thinks mom is getting more care all of a sudden she is dieing, and I'm trying to kill her cuz I dont take care of her etc. I am constantly in grams room, she now ask me what my mothers name is. I ask her what her daughters name is, she tells me and I say that is my mom's name, but then I have my Mom who is very bad. not only does she have alz/dem, she has a baseball size cysts in her brain. they put a shunt in but only for a few days did I see a difference. I have moved into my moms home, gave up mine, not knowing what I was in for. I still don't understand what is going to happen. she has gone from willing to do things for herself, walk, feed herself, help with changing herself.( she is incontinent with bm too, to not willing to get out of bed, I have to tell her move your feet, grab this, pull mom, push mom, sit down. It is just crazy. She has some bad nasty habits that drive me nuts, and are unhealthy for her... but what do I do?
We, me and doctor, have "played" with depression pills, appetite pills, she is on quite a few other pills, including namenda and arecept. She just got over a UTI, very bad one, put her in hospital, then to nursing home for therapy. the nursing home, from the outside looks beautiful, but the care she didn't get was horrific. they even burned her with a heat pad. I called the cops and DCF on them.
Nevermind, there is nothing anyone can do to help me anyway. I'm just rambling here. I do have respite, 16 hrs a week but.... there has to be 2 caregivers here, so one for each cuts it down to 8 hrs a week off. At least 5 of those hrs are getting groceries, depends,meds etc. stuff for the house. so MY TIME?????

I cant trust grandma to stay put even so I can shower. She is something else. She can still make me laugh once in a while, not mom tho.
I love my mom, she raised 7 kids, none of the others will help or come to see her. they call sometimes once a month. they used to come down once a yr at least. It has been 2 yrs now.
They dont want to talk to me because all I have to talk about is MOM and Grandma. they want to talk about their vacations, trips, kids, well it won't happen, if you can't help your own mother.... I don't feel real sorry for any of them.
Mom is now like I said getting real bad. all she wants to do is lay down, or recline. she now has very bad chest congestion, doctors tomorrow, but she won't help me do anything for her. I am 135 lbs, and mom is 112. I can't lift her or roll her. I am here by myself caring for both of them.
I need a vacation, I want to sit and watch a whole movie on a Sunday afternoon. how do I talk to Mom when she won't do anything for me to help herself. I am starting to get mad now and I don't want to be mad at her. help me please.