Hello, my name is Jenny Johnson, and I am a sophomore at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC. I am doing a report comparing the pros and cons of home care vs. institutional care. I was wondering if I could get some opinions of people who care for people with Alzhiemer's. Thank you so much for your help.

My mother, 85, was diagnosed with Dementia approximately 3/4 years ago. I moved in with her approximately one year ago because I didn't want to put her in a nursing home. I feel that if I can keep her on her feet and moving as long as I can that she has a quality of life left. I have talked with other individuals and they indicated that many times they keep them sedated in nursing homes. I realize that one day I may not have a choice, but until that day arrives, I prefer to leave her in her home as long as I can manage.

My mother in law has alzheimers. I would classify it as somewhere around the beginning of the middle stages of Alzheimers. She can no longer remember to take her medication and forgets to eat. She cannot remember things said to her in the last few minutes, but can remember things from long in the past. She is healthy physically and could live many more years (83 years old now). She takes no medication other than that for Alzheimers. She does not wander off and is not violent. She makes her bed and bathes herself.

My wife and I have hired a domestic care giver that will spend around 5 hrs a day with her. Fixing supper, doing laundry, changing linens, cleaning house, running her to dr. appointments, hair dresser, giving medicine, etc. The fee is $7.50 / per hour and the care lady has 30 years experience mostly with Alzheimer's patients. This is a very small town and the care lady came highly recommemded from several close friends.

My M-I-L has lived in the same house for 55 years and we live 500 miles away. There are no other children but my wife. She does not want to move and my wife could not cope with her here at our house.

She has sufficient financial resources for many years at an Assisted Living center, but we think that staying in familiar surroundings is the best thing at this time.

Mike - I'm glad you were able to obtain some home care for your M-I-L. It's good to keep people as independent as possible for as long as possible.

If your M-I-L's needs increase to the point that she needs to move into an assisted living facility, I recommend you contact an elder law attorney either in your state or your M-I-Ls state. Some states have programs to help people pay for long-term care in assisted living facilities. The rules vary from state to state, and the rules change periodically.

Best of luck to you and your wife in your Caregiver's Journey. Please let me know if I can help in any way.